I was checking my little ones back pack last night to see his days work, any notes from the teacher etc., when I came across a book, The Little Boy Who Wanted a Family. I thought that was an interesting choice of a library book for him, a 5 year old that can't read very much yet. I assumed he had chose this book because the boy on the front cover was dressed like Superman. I proceded to see what the book was about and couldn't believe my eyes. This book was about a 7 year old boy in the foster care system. He had been moved from home to home and finally someone wanted to adopt him. Someone that loved him for who he was and didn't want to move him again. In the end he did get adopted and finally was able to put his suitcase in his closet instead of under his bed. (He kept the suitcase under his bed so he could be ready when the social worker came to move him.)
After I read this book I wondered is this what my little guy feels like. He has been lingering many years in this system and he so desperately wants closure, a family he can move on with, a life that is secure, not "living out of a suitcase. " When I asked him why he chose this book he said, "I asked one of the older kids what the name of it was and I liked it." I then asked him, "Is that what you want?" He said, "Yes." He went back to playing and I just let it go for now. He is not my touchy, feely child. We will read the book and talk about it more.
It made me so sad that my hands are tied when it comes to the foster care system. It is a process that takes so much time, gives so many ungrateful chances and leaves me wondering why? In the mean time, the children are the ones suffering. Can you imagine the chaos in their minds? We as adults hate to leave anything that we do out there, lingering, yet these children are expected to just go on about their lives and bounce back. Yes, children are resilient and they do adjust as best they can. But that doesn't mean they are without feelings and those feelings can rear their ugly head at any moment. So it makes me think, I wouldn't like "living out of a suitcase" would you?
i was thinking about this very thing earlier tonight. i was asking margarita about memories of her orphanage. she says she doesn't remember anything from when she was little. i thought in response "it's because your life was the same every single day. you lived in the same place, never went anywhere other than school, ate soup every day for lunch - nothing was ever different". and then i wondered if in some ways that would be better than foster care. i don't think large group living is that great, but maybe living out of a suitcase would be worse, I don't know...God bless this sweet boy and may he find a permanent family soon.
ReplyDelete(ps, nice to "see" you again! i hope all is well with you...)