Defend the Orphans

How do you explain to others what being in an orphanage is like?  How a piece of my heart and soul was left in Ukraine with those children who have no idea what the outside world is like.  How, when they age out of the orphanage, the world is not going to be kind to them and they are so not prepared.  How through my earthly eyes I see no way that I can go back yet my heart longs to be there, to bring one more home, sweet Anya.

Others tell me what a great thing we've done and how Peyton and Caleb are two lucky children.  I have a hard time answering when someone says this to me because we think we are the lucky ones.  I then procede to tell them about the other orphans who were left behind and how I wish I could... I usually get cut off by them saying but you saved these two isn't that enough.  You've done your part.  And so then it turns to small talk and the conversation is over.  Again,  how do you explain to others what it is like looking in the eyes of an orphan?

Then it dawns on me, Tina, they don't get it because God did not call them to adopt an orphan, He called you.  But the Bible does talk about the orphan and what we are to do.

• James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...
• Isaiah 1:17 - ...learn to do right!  Seek justice, encourage the oppressed.  Defend the cause of the fatherless... 
• Psalms 68:5-6 -  A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families... 
• Psalms 82:3 - Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

We are to look after the orphans and defend them.   How can we do that by looking the other way or dismissing someone when they are trying to tell you how heartbreaking it is?  I know that there are those that read my blog that would adopt but they think:

1. It costs so much.
2. What will my family and friends think?
3. What if we have problems with the child/children once we get home?

and so many more reasons.  But you know what, we serve an awesome God who has gone before us and He will be there for you every step of the way.  It will not be easy but the struggle is what helps you to reach out to God and His faithfulness.  And seeing these children brought in to a family is such a blessing.

There are also those that read my blog that could support these adoptive families.  Come along side them and be an encourager because this process is so hard and the last thing they need is a naysayer.  Pray with them and tell them they can do it.  Offer to help while they are travelling, whether it be with their children at home or house sitting or preparing meals when they return.  And yes these families need help financially during the adoption process because I don't know too many people that have $20,000 + laying around. So please pray about what you can do to help the families that are stepping out for the least of these.   

I have put some of these pictures up before but here they are again.  Look at these sweet, sweet faces that I want to shout for because their reality is going to change at age 17 and they will never be the same.  Please say a prayer for them.  I don't really know if they are available for adoption but we may be able to find out.  If you think that one of these children could be yours I am here to help you.  Because I know, they are worth it all. 

~Tina

   

 

 

 





 

   

One Month Home

Peyton and Caleb have been home one month.  Sometimes it seems longer and other times it is all still so new. 

Sweet Caleb is attaching so well and is just a smiley boy.  I have yet to figure out his logic behind getting in trouble and initally crying until I say his name to get him to look at me and then he puts on a big smile with no tears.  Mama doesn't cave to that smile but I can't get him to say da (yes) or nyet (no) when I ask him if he understands why he was in trouble.  Even after showing him right and wrong he still will not respond.  He just stands there so straight looking at me with that smile.  He must think I am so funny because believe me if you could see the charades I do to get him to understand I guess you would be laughing to.  Gary says I do a great job at charades because he can't think of things to do to get Caleb to understand.  I even catch myself laughing at some of the things I do and, well, I guess when I start laughing it's all over because then all the kids join in with the laughter.  Joking aside, Caleb is really doing great and is starting to understand English words when I tell him to do things, like put this in your bedroom, it's time to eat, let's brush your teeth etc. He is very neat and tidy and every morning he takes very good care to make his bed and put his dirty clothes in the hamper.  Something his siblings could take a few lessons from.  He loves music and whenever he hears any music the hips start to swinging.  I still am amazed at how well he is doing and that he doesn't seem to miss his life in Ukraine.  He never mentions any of the nannies or his friends there.  It is as if he has always been here.  He just fits so well for never knowing what being in a family was like.  I praise God for this smooth transition.

Beautiful Peyton is still distant but she seems happy and content.  I know the road is going to be longer for her.  I just can't wait until she lets us in more.  Because we have no record of what happened in her life before she came to the boarding school at 9 years old, adjusting is just going to be harder.  Some day when she can speak English I hope she can open up and tell me about that life.  I am really interested to know about her Ukrainian family and what her life was like.  We have not really had many issues with her.  There has been a couple of teaching moments where the choice she made was not acceptable but the choice is too be expected.  The orphan mentality of taking without asking and begging is how they survived.  I know that our home grown children have done the same things but they were younger and had to be taught.  Peyton is 11 and you would think she would already know these things but the reality is she doesn't and so we have to start at the beginning.  She is very neat and tidy like Caleb and her bed is made perfectly every morning. She still will not get out of bed unless Gary or I tell her that she can no matter how many times I have told her she doesn't have to wait for us to tell her.  She rides the bus to school with brother Cash everyday and is all smiles and waves through the window as the bus pulls away.  She says school is good now when I ask her and is eager to show me her school papers each night. She now feels safe enough to take her shower without me being in the bathroom with her but still needs the security of me laying with her each night to fall asleep.  Gary and I are both looking forward to the day that she calls us mom and dad and reciprocates the hugs we give her.  But for now seeing that sweet, shy smile when she catches us looking at her will do.  I know she is happy here and someday when the English comes we will have alot of catching up to do.

~Tina

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

    

Stirring

First an update on the kids.  Caleb is doing well and getting used to being at daycare.  He now comes running and hugs me tight when I get there to pick him up.  He is just such a lovey little guy and loves to kiss my cheek or sit on my lap and rub my hair.  He and Carson are still trying to get the pecking order figured out and Gary and I have decided we are done being referee to a degree.  Carson weighs quite a bit more so we do have to step in sometimes.  Peyton is still so quiet and shy but we did have a little break through with her last night.  Gary was sitting in his chair getting ready to read a book and I told Peyton, daddy is going to read a book if you want to listen.  Cash was watching televison and half listening.  Carson and Caleb got on Gary's lap and Peyton stood by his chair.  Before he was done reading the book she was actually sitting on the arm of the chair and leaning in.  Baby steps.  After dinner the kids were just doing their own things before bathtime and Peyton had her tablet out drawing.  I sat down with her and asked her what her teacher's name was.  She thought for a moment and shook her head no.  I guess she thought I wanted her to spell it.  I said Ms. Hendrix and she smiled and I wrote this down on her tablet.  We then proceded to name some of her classmates and wrote those names down.  I decided this was a great opportunity to talk about her classmates from the orphanage.  She started saying all their names.  I told her to write their names and she shook her head no and I knew that she thought I meant in English.  I then told her to write the names in Ukrainian and she got the biggest smile and she just was so happy to write their names.  I could tell by the look on her face that she was having fond memories of them as she wrote each name.  We talked about who had a sibling and what the siblings names were.  I then decided to talk to her about her Ukrainian family and their names, sister, Olya, brother Sasha, brother Artem, mother, Lina, and when I said babuska (grandmother), she said no babushka, no dadushka (grandfather) and no papa. She was excited that we were talking about her Ukrainian family and friends.  Again, baby steps to get her to open up to me.

Now about that stirring.  The Bible says in Luke 15:4-6 -

^4 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ "

Well I have a stirring in my heart that I just can't shake, a lost sheep.  Please say a prayer for us that God will show us clearly what we need to do. 

~Tina

God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity we plan only the things that we can do by ourselves. A.W. Tozer

Halloween 2012

We didn't do much for Halloween this year.  As we had already had a carving pumpkins party a few days before and a get together with family, we decided to just trick-or-treat at grandma and grandpa's house.  The kids were excited to put on their costumes and of course grandma always spoils them.  Here is a picture before we left, Carson is Batman, Caleb is Bozo the Clown, Cash is Spiderman and Peyton is a princess.  They are so funny and fun.

 

 

As I was leaving work last night I decided to stop and get pizza so we could eat quickly and get to Grandma's house.  My two American kids always like to ask Peyton what the Ukrainian word is for this or that.  So as we were eating pizza Cash asked her what the Ukrainian word was for pizza.  Peyton replied, Ukrainian pizza is English pizza in her beautiful Ukrainian voice.  We were amazed because this was her first sentence in English that she actually said without any prompting.  Normally she just says da or nyet or shakes her head for anything I ask and has not tried to talk in English unless I tell her what something is and have her repeat it. 

 

Peyton started school on Monday of this week and we are hoping to get together soon with the team that will decide what direction we need to go with her.  She is supposed to be tested some time to see where she is at in Math.  Right now she is just getting aquainted with school, her teacher and her classmates.  I can not begin to imagine how hard it is to sit in class and only know bits and pieces of what the teacher is saying.  She always has a smile on her face when we pick her up from school and when I ask her if she likes school she shakes her head no. 

 

Caleb is adjusting to daycare.  After the first couple of days he figured out where we were going and now he starts to cry when I leave him.  He is fine though  once I leave and seems to have a good time. Today he road on the merry-go-round at daycare and he got off and threw-up.  But that didn't deter him from getting on it again later in the day and same thing happening.  Funny boy!

 

Overall everything is going better than we could have expected and all the kids are getting along fairly well.  Peyton will actually go outside now and play soccer or football or swing with the boys.  It would be nice though if she had a sister to do girly things with.  Just sayin.

 

~Tina