Lost

Someone told me today that our kids look lost and was it really a good thing to take them from what they knew?  Before anyone comes back with a negative comment please hear me out because this comment came from a good person wishing us nothing but the best for our kids.  It just got me to thinking because I have to daily remind myself that I only know part of what they have been through and those who have never been there just don't know. 

Yes our kids are lost.  All they knew was -  time to get up but don't you dare get out of bed until we (the orphanage staff) say you can;  get dressed in the clothes that you have worn for the last week; walk in a single file with your group to eat the little bit of food we put in front of you (and no you can not have more so don't ask);  if it is a school day then time to go to class where we (the orphanage staff) will only teach you minimally because you are just not capable of learning; after morning classes then lunch will be served and again you only have what is in front of you to eat; if it happens to be Wednesday then it is your lucky day because you get to take your shower for the week; after this it is back to class until about 6:00 pm; then there is free time which you can spend sitting and watching a movie, playing outside with sticks and rocks or swinging on the swings that I know are so old that they are only being held together by the layers of paint over the rust.  You can also pick apples to eat from the orchard or get nuts out of the trees and crack them with your teeth or stomp them with your heel.  At the end of the day, it has been a good day if one or more of the other kids has not hit you, bit you, put their cigarette out on you or taken you to the ground for a little wrestling match.  Oh and how could I forget, if you need to use the toliet, it is outside, a concrete building with no doors on it and if you can stand the smell when you walk inside then there cut out in the floor is 3 holes, also known as a squat pot, where you can do your business. (We did see toilets that were very neat and clean, as far as orphanages go, inside a couple of the buildings but never saw any of the children go in them.) And, if my children would have stayed at the orphanage and aged out at 16 or 17, they would have been shown the door and sent in to the den of lions.  You see, 60% of orphan girls turn to prostitution, 70% of orphan boys turn to a life of crime and 10-15% will commit suicide before age 18. 

Are my kids lost?  Yes they are but I hope by the grace of God that we found them in time.  Yes, they don't know much English and they don't know about the little things in everyday life that we take for granted.  But Gary and I have been given a precious gift that each day we are unwrapping another layer of.  Some days the paper is pretty and glittery and other days it is plain brown paper.  Either way it is another step forward for our kids to be what God intended for them to be. 

~Tina



first day of school for Peyton and daycare for Caleb

the kids and their pumpkins

                   

Update On The Kids

The kids are doing great, just so much to learn. 

Peyton seems to understand most of what I say to her and Google translate is a big help.  She is so shy and only warms up to people after she meets them a few times.  By warms up I mean that she will actually look at them and smile.  She is not a hugger and although she doesn't mind if I hug her, she will not initiate a hug.  She is still leery of Gary and since almost all of the teachers or workers at the orphanage were women I can understand why.  I can't wait to see her open up to him someday.   She has yet to call me mama or seek me out while we are at home if she wants something except for when it is time for bed she wants me to lay with her until she goes to sleep.  We are working on her picking out her clothes each day.  She is learning that she doesn't have to wear the same clothes every day for a week.  She is still amazed and so happy to be able to take a shower every night.  We spend our days working on ABC's, coloring, watching Barbie and playing outside.  On Monday she will be starting to school.  I will have more information about this in another post.

Caleb understands some of what I tell him to do but mostly I have to show him what I want.  If Peyton hears me say something to him and sees that he doesn't understand she will usually tell him what I said in Ukrainian.  He will come and find me in the house, say mama and wave his hand at me as to follow him so he can show me what he wants. He is such a smiley boy and will usually say hi to people that we know if they say something to him and we ask him to respond to them.  He has no interest in sitting and watching television or having a book read to him.  He likes to play with any of the toys that have music involved with them.  He loves "musica."  I will have to get a video of him dancing.  He just swings his hips back and forth and it is so cute.  This boy loves to eat.  Although I have tried to keep a bland diet for them right now there is not much he won't eat.  He is getting better at not being scared of taking a bath but doesn't like going to bed.  He will go but with a few tears and really it doesn't take him very long to go to sleep.  He will be starting daycare on Monday with brother Carson. We went today and checked it out and I think he will do just fine there.

Overall they are adjusting well and we are so thankful that God is allowing us the privilege of being their parents. 

~Tina

Orphan Faces

I wrote this post a while ago but didn't want to publish it until we got home.  I never know who is reading and I just wanted to get home sooner rather than later.

The following kids are some of the orphans we got to know.  Look at these faces.  We loved these kids so much and it was hard to say goodbye to the 7 other children in Peyton's group.  The day we got the kids out of the orphanage was not at all like I had thought it would be.  I thought we would have a little going away party for Peyton and her friends.  We had no idea that the night before would be the last time we would spend with them. 

When I got Peyton out of her classroom, to go and change her clothes, so we could leave, it was very hard to see the others wondering what was going on.  When she and I went back in the room where her group was to give the key back to the person in charge of it, the looks on the kids' faces I will never forget.  The tears started rolling and they still are now as I am writing this.  These kids knew Peyton would be leaving soon but I sure would have liked to have been able to talk to all of them and tell them what they meant to me, how they have forever changed me.  They all came up to me and hugged me and the tears kept coming.  If we could come back and do this again, there are a few more kids I would be bringing home with me.  These kids really are good kids and just need to be given a chance for someone to show them the love and attention they deserve.  I can't really say whether any of these children are available for adoption as we were never able to make contact with the director to ask.  But everyday from here on I will not forget Anya, Angela, Peter, Mikolya, Misha, Cnizhana and Andre. 

I hope if you are reading this and you are on the fence about adopting internationally that you will look at these orphan faces and know there are many more out there that need homes.  Is it a hard road?  Absolutely!  But the rewards far outweigh the stuff we went through and these kids are so worth it.
 
~Tina

 

 

 

We Are Home

Yes, we are home.  We got home late Friday night/Saturday morning and I am so exhausted.  The kids did great on the plane and with the layover time.  Caleb is adjusting well and Peyton is doing pretty well.  The first night was hard for her at bedtime but it is getting better.  I guess I never thought that having her own room would not necessarily be a good thing for her.  Since she is used to sleeping in a room with several children I think she doesn't feel safe by herself.  I am not really sure though what it going on. 

It is so fun to watch them with all the newness. 

There are some things that they did at the orphanage that we are working on correcting, mostly surrounding use of the bathroom, but they are good at listening and doing what we ask.  I do like that they were taught to make their beds each morning and  they seem to know how to brush their teeth although when we met them we would have never known they brushed their teeth. 

Cash and Carson, our two little guys that we left at home while we travelled, are trying to adjust to this change in our household.  Cash is really doing well and he says he wants to learn Ukrainian words so he can talk to them.  I told him I would teach him some of the basics but we really want to teach them English. Carson is having a hard time!  He missed us so much and with being a former foster child he had things happen in his past that impacts his security.  He is clingy and whiny and so we know it will take time for him to adjust.  He really is a sweet little boy and he likes to hug and doesn't realize that not everyone wants to hug. 

This is just a little bit of what is going on.  We are surviving and loving our new normal.  And, we are so glad to be home.

~Tina 

Final Day In Ukraine

Today was the day for the kids' medical exams.  Gary went with our facilitator this morning to pay for them which was a short walk from our apartment.  When they got back we all got in a taxi and away we went to the hospital for the medical exams.  Because of traffic, it took about 30 minutes to get there.  When we got there we didn't have to wait too long and then the kids had their exams.  Those went pretty well.  The doctor was very nice, spoke English and even gave us the kids' shot records which I was very surprised to get. 

In the afternoon we went to the US Embassy and had the appointment to get the kids' visas.  That went very well also and only took about 20 minutes.  The ladies were so nice and once again asked us if the kids were siblings.  I didn't mention in my post from when I went to the Embassy the first time but the lady asked me three times if the kids were siblings. Yes, yes they are.  I have to give it to her though because the kids do not look alike at all. 

We now have all the paperwork and are so glad to say that tomorrow morning we leave Ukraine.  This day could have not come soon enough.  And Peyton is just a little bit excited that tomorrow she gets to go to America.  She has been waiting way to long and it was so funny because every day that our facilitator would come to our apartment the first thing she would ask is, "when are we going to America?"  Tomorrow, Peyton, tomorrow we are going to America and you are now an American girl who we love and cherish as our own.  We see your worth and you will never be alone and unwanted again.

Thank you to all who followed out journey and to those who left encouraging comments.  I hope to keep our blog going with updates about the children and our family life after this Ukrainian adoption.

~Tina

Day 26

We have passports.  Praise God!  We will have the kids medical appointments tomorrow morning and meet with the US Embassy in the afternoon.  So glad to be finishing up and heading home to our other children and everything that feels comfortable.

As we were talking with our facilitator last night I asked him if anyone had ever said what the results were of Peyton's stay in the hospital.  When we came to Ukraine back in August Peyton had been put in the hospital to have tests run to see if the diagnosis in her file was still accurate.  All orphans are evaluated like this at some point.  The results, she was fine and the diagnosis would change in her file, which is good.  But, had we not come to adopt her,  she would have been moved once again to another orphanage and just like foster children, orphans eventually have a hard time trusting when they keep getting moved.  So glad God brought us here at just the right time so that she can have the permanency she desires.  I know when we get home reality will set in but I really think that we got two of the best kids ever.  

~Tina

Day 25

One year ago today I saw this sweet picture and I was truly captivated because I knew that I was looking at my daughter.

After talking to Alecia Horner and her beautiful daughter Aliyah (the family that led us to Peyton) on Skype last night I learned something new about Peyton.  I thought that Alecia had found out that Peyton was available from the director of the boarding school she attended and that the director was trying to find her a family.  But Peyton actually asked Aliyah if the Horners could adopt her too.  Alecia told her they couldn't but they would look for a family for her.  You see, she was looking for her family at the same time her family was looking for her.  How glad I am that I came upon the Horner's blog at just that time.  God's perfect timing.  We truly feel so lucky to be the parents of these two sweet kids.

We still have no passports.  I was able to go to the US Embassy and turn in the paperwork except for passports and medical exams.  Praying we can get the passports tomorrow.  I am starting to have a love/hate relationship with Ukraine.

We took the subway back from the Embassy.  Getting off the subway you have to take a looooong escalator ride up and out of the subway area.  The kids were just amazed and excited about how long it was and how fast it was moving.   

~Tina

Day 22

The main road was blocked off today for a little street fair along with bands playing on a stage.  It was a little warmer but we didn't stay out for long.  We don't have a stroller and Caleb can only take walking so much.  I was able to get a video of Peyton and Caleb getting in the elevator but the lighting is bad so it is a little dark.  You will hear the happiness though.

They are doing better than we could have expected.  I think they are doing better than we are.  We are sooo done and ready to be home.  They, on the other hand, are just going with the flow even though it is rather boring in our apartment.   

Thanks to those of you that gave me the info about going to starfall.com so that Peyton can learn the alphabet.  She is doing so well with it.  Caleb even chimes in sometimes saying the letters and words.

I have been thinking alot about the kids that we left behind at the orphanage.  I have had people say to me but Tina you can't save them all.  I know that but I got so attached to the kids in Peyton's group that it is hard to just let them go knowing how hard life will probably be for them.  I just want them to have a better life.  I know that God is in control and these kids are His kids so I will just keep praying for them.  And, who knows, maybe I will see them again someday.  I sure would like that.

~Tina

         

Day 21, No News

We were hoping to get the kids passports today but alas, no news.  We try to get out of the apartment at least once a day but it is a little cold to have the kids out too long.  They are still enjoying riding the elevator and escalator.  I will have to get a video of them if I can. 

We have decided that Caleb must have been a favorite with the nannies.  He is pushing the limits just a little and time out is a crying scene but with a sly little smile.  I think his smile must have gotten him a long way with the nannies.  He is a good eater and will drink alot if we let him.  He is a little scared to take a bath and is really scared to have water in his face.  But overall he is doing well.

Peyton is a joy and I just can't believe how much she looks like me.  When I look at her it is like I am looking at a younger version of myself.  She is also eating well which I am so glad of as she is quite skinny.  She is so ready to go home.  In fact she asked our facilitator what we were doing when we got to this apartment because she thought we were going home to America.  I have been working with her on the computer with math problems and learning the alphabet.  Does anyone have any suggestions on free online learning activities that I can do with her?  She is eager to learn but I really don't know where to start since she doesn't know English.  She will be attending public school so this is just something that I can work with her on the side to get her further ahead. 

Please pray that our passports are done on Monday so that we can finish this marathon and get home.

~Tina

Caleb has my neck pillow on his head.  Funny boy.

These smiles are priceless.

The Kids Are Doing Great

One more day down.  Not sure how many to go.  The kids are doing great.  We really couldn't ask for them to be any better considering that we just took them away from everything familiar.  Caleb is so fun to watch.  I will include a photo of him leaning on the window ledge looking out at the machinas (cars).  He is amazed that so many go by and just keep coming down the street.  They both think the elevator in our apartment building is fun and when we went on the escalator today in the underground mall they just laughed so much.  It is just priceless to see the happiness in their eyes. 

Please say a little prayer for Peyton.  One of her earring holes was infected while she was still at the orphanage and it wasn't being taken care of properly.  Before we got her out of the orphanage it had spread to a couple places on her face.  We went to a pharmacy yesterday and got some medicine.  It seems to be helping but the spots sure don't look good.

I am including a video of Caleb giving me the business although I have no idea what he is saying.  After Peyton took her shower I blow dried her hair.  They neither one had seen a blow dryer before and Caleb didn't like it at all.  He is so hilarious when he gets to talking and raising that arm up.  Enjoy.

~ Tina

We are in Kiev

We got the passports started today and now we are in Kiev.  We are praying that the passports will be done by Friday.  Our facilitator is ready to go home as much as we are. 

The kids are doing well.  Peyton is soooo good and quiet.  She is also very good with Caleb.  I think since she was at a small boarding school before she came to the orphange in April that she has seen the "outside" more than Caleb.  He is, as you can imagine, a little overstimlulated.  He has tried out every light switch and button in the apartment several times.  Although I have to say that since being with us for just 24 hours he has calmed down some.  It is so fun to watch him get so excited about things we just take for granted and look past.  He is really getting good at repeating words we ask him to.  They both slept all night last night at the hotel.  We will see how tonight goes as we will all be sleeping in one large bed.

Thanks to all that are following us and encouraging us.  Please pray that this last little bit will go by quickly and we can get home soon to our other children as well. 

~Tina

Can you see his excitement?

My Joy

Today has been quite a day.  I will first preface by saying it started out as not a very good day for me.  I was amazed to see first hand, but I am not sure why as I have read about it so many times before, the corruption that takes place here and this is not the first day we have seen it .  But today, I guess I had just had enough.  You would think that these people would care more about their orphans than the all mighty dollar but that is not the case.

First, the day started out cold and rainy.  We walked 15 minutes to the orphanage to get the kids and paperwork because we had to take them to get their passport photos.  The orphanage director  asked if we brought their clothes as we were to take them right then.  Well, no we didn't bring their clothes with us, we didn't know we were taking them for good right at this moment.  Then the director said oh and by the way (before you walk back in the cold and rain to your hotel to get their clothes) the orphanage has these needs and pulled out a list that was on one page and half of a second page.  I asked what was on the list.  The director said she couldn't disclose this information to us.  Can you see where this is going?

Back we walked to our hotel room.  As you can imagine we both were not very happy because of what just transpired and not because we didn't want to take the kids right then but because the director thought that we should help her out.  We packed things up as quickly as we could and talked about what we needed to give to the orphanage.  We packed because we thought we were heading back to Kiev for the remainder of our stay.  By this time it is noon and still the rain was coming down.  On the walk back Gary said the most awesome thing he could have ever said to me because as you can imagine I was just a little emotional.  He said, Tina you have been waiting for this day for so many years now.  Do not let them steal your joy! He was absolutely right.

As I think about it now, isn't it awesome that God came before us here and knew what was going to happen today.  And isn't it also awesome that we are all accountable for only the choices we make.  When others make choices that don't seem appropriate we don't need to worry about it because they have to answer to God for that.  So, yes I am joyful and so happy to have these two beautiful children with me right now no matter what transpired today. 

By the time we got the paperwork at the orphanage, got their photos taken for the passports and got   more paperwork notarized, it was 2:30.  Our facilitator called the passport office, which was a half an hour drive away, to see if they could take us today.  Unfortunately we have to wait until tomorrow.  We will stay here at our hotel for tonight and then move to Kiev tomorrow.

~Tina

Another Day Closer

We left our hotel today a little after nine and travelled to Berdychiv where we picked up the court decree.  Then we headed to Malin to get new birth certificates. 

What I thought was going to be an hour ride was actually two hours one way.  And that was with our nice driver , Victor, who I know trained with the Indy car drivers.  If traffic is going too slow, no problem, the side of the road will do for passing all the cars in front of you and then you are in the lead. When you do decide to pass on the correct side and someone is coming, well that is no problem either because when you have a small car it will fit in to the smallest space even if you do about rear-end someone in the process.  Needless to say, we were thankful to get back to our hotel safe and sound. 

We were able to get the new birth certificates and the tax codes changed with no problems.  One hurdle down and a few more to go.  On Monday we will pick up the kids and have their picture taken for the passports.  The passport processing will not be done until at least Friday.  Please pray for this process to go quickly.  Once we have the passports then we will travel back to Kiev with the children.  They will both have to have medical exams and then we will meet with the US Embassy.  The following day we will pick up our documents from the US Embassy and we are free to leave Ukraine.  We can't wait.

~Tina

Random pictures from today (out the car window).

 

I guess the car was going a little faster
than my camera could shoot but there
are cows out in this field for my little
guys back home.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is day 11 after court and the 10 day wait is over.  We travel first in to Berdychiv and pick up copies of the court decree.  We then will travel north about an hour to the children's birthtown, which I think is Malyn, and get new birth certificates listing us as their parents.  We will also get their tax id codes exchanged but I am not sure what that means.  It will be a long day of hurry up and wait but one step closer to getting the kids home.

~Tina

We love this girl sooo much!

 This video is for my boys back home.  They always request
that I post a video.  If you listen closely you can here Caleb
saying "Poppy".  This is what he calls Gary sometimes. 
This boy loves to swing.  That is the first thing he will
head for when we go outside.

Anya

What can I say, I really have nothing new.  Although I do want to talk a little bit about Anya. 

Anya is a girl in Peyton's group.  When we first got here she was very standoffish and would just look at us.  The other kids would just pick on her and really not give her much attention.  She did not seem to be in the "in" crowd.  She could be sitting so nicely watching television and wack, someone would hit her upside the head for no reason. Or, she could be sitting at the table drawing and one of the kids would take a pen or color and scratch right through her drawing.   Granted she is smaller than most of the kids in this group but we are not really sure why she is picked on.  We never see her hit or mouth or do anything out of the ordinary.  Slowly but surely she has warmed up to us and she now will take some of the things we have brought and play with them.  Now that the other kids have seen us giving her attention they are being nice to her as we have told them over and over to be nice.  When they are mean to each other and then come over to us for a piece of candy we tell them nyet (no) you have to be nice and we wait until we catch them being good and reward them. 

Gary always roots for the underdog and so as you can imagine Anya gets a piece of candy everyday from him.  She always says spasiba (thank you).  She is just a very good little girl.  So today when we got to the orphanage  at lunch time she came running and hugged me so tight.  And tonight when we got ready to leave she just hugged Gary.  Yes, we are smitten with this girl and before you get any ideas, no we have no intentions of coming back to Ukraine.  But while we are here I want Anya to know the love of a mama and papa.  Tonight when you say your prayers, say one for Anya. 

~Tina

Anya

Anya's drawing

Caleb's artwork (I am sure he said
something about it being a jellyfish).

 

Here at the hotel on Saturday and Sunday
nights there is usually a wedding reception
or birthday party.  We get to see fireworks
on those nights even if we are awakened
at midnight by the loud booms.

Caleb is In The House

When we got to the orphanage today we checked on Caleb first and guess what, he was there.  He came running, jumped into my arms and hugged me so tight and leaned backwards to grab ahold of Gary.  He was soooo happy!  He started to head outside like we used to do and the nanny stopped him and said a few things and so we played inside.  We only stayed for about an hour as it was about time for his lunch and we thought we might get to see Peyton for a little bit.  We looked in the few places that we knew Peyton might be and couldn't find her so we sat outside.  We waited for a while but never did see her and so we left.  We returned in the evening and saw her for about 45 minutes and then left to see Caleb for a little bit.  Her demeaner today was a little different and I think she may be just as tired of this same routine everyday as we are.  We got to see one of her workbooks from school and she has beautiful Ukrainian cursive handwriting. There is a picture below that she drew with her name written on it.  She now knows how to spell Peyton without me telling her the letters.  I think these kids are going to do so well once we get home and get used to our new normal.  God has truly blessed us.

~Tina

sweet boy

playing with cars

Is that Fred Flintstone?

where he sleeps, cute little beds



Peyton's drawing