Encouraged

It so encourages me to read everyone's blogs that are in Ukraine adopting, have recently returned, or are in the paper chase to get an appt. date.  I still feel so stongly that we will return to Ukraine to adopt as God shows me His way for us.  There seems to be so many mountains to climb but God is the mover of mountains and in His timing He will lead us back.

We are enjoying this time of year with the little ones in our home.  They talk alot about Santa but we quickly remind them that Christmas is Jesus' birthday.  One of them always wants to know where Santa lives and we say the North Pole.  He then asks if we can fly to the North Pole and if Gary and Tina will fly with him.  He still hasn't quite gotten over the fact that we were gone for 3 weeks to Ukraine and, in his mind, abandoned him. (working through that one)  Having foster children has prepared us a little for what the children in the orphanges are like and what they need and long for. There are some that want to be loved close and some that love at a distance.  They all have a void that needs to be filled and the key is finding out what that is.  I guess that we are all a little like that in some ways. Thankfully we know the One who will provide for all our needs if we just pray and seek Him.  Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I just love this song by JJ Heller, a christian artist.

Broken

We have been home a week and I am still trying to figure out what happened.  Why would God take us all the way to Ukraine to find our daughter and then bring us home without her?  I know it is not for me to ask why but just to trust in where He leads and what He tells me to do.  For the most part people have been considerate of what we went through but there are those that have no tact and those that just avoid us rather than bring up the subject.  It is amazing how much people can cheer when you are in the midst of doing something great but where are they when it doesn't work out. I am so glad that I can count on God and that He knows the possible when I see the impossible.

Our life from here consists of raising my 17 yr old son and 4 foster children.  We are trying to enjoy this time with them although it has been very hard to transition back.  God sees my brokenness and I just pray every day that this feeling of something missing will subside.  Sometimes we have to be broken to be used to glorify Him.

I am going to try and continue to blog, although I won't be able to give specifics about our foster children.  Thanks to all who did follow our adoption journey and gave us encouragement.  I am going to keep the title of my blog because I feel our adoption journey is not over, just going in a different direction.

Tina

Going With Our Hearts

Sorry it has taken so long to blog. We were on a train for 15 hours and then the whirlwind that happens the day you get off the train.

Our facilitator told me Friday night, quit thinking and go with your heart. So today after much prayer and heart searching we have decided not to proceed with adopting the 2 girls. This is the hardest decision we have ever had to make. We don’t want to let our experience in any way discourage anyone from adopting from Ukraine. It just did not work out for us but there are so many more people that have adopted beautiful children from Ukraine. We could do paperwork to request a 3rd appt. from the SDA but for now we are going home.

There is no doubt this experience has opened our eyes to the plight of the orphans. Being in the orphanages and seeing all the children is something that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. These children long for a mom and dad to love them and if they can just stand next to you for a moment it makes them so happy. Looking in their eyes you see the pain and sadness of a child that just needs your attention and needs a loving family. Some of them seem happy but the ones who have the longing eyes are the ones that tore at our hearts the most. Sadly some of the children in the orphanages are not available for adoption and they will age-out never knowing the love of a family.

So, for now, we are heading back home after all the paperwork is completed. We truly appreciate all the prayers, kind words, and encouragement from everyone. We would have had a harder time without it. Most important, we give God the glory for He knows the desires of our hearts and what is best for our lives more than anyone does.

2nd SDA Appointment

We got a call today at 12:45 saying our 2nd SDA appt. would be at 2:00.  That was great because that would mean less time to get nervous.  We met for a very long hour and were shown several girls.  Some of the girls couldn't be pursued for various reasons.  We narrowed it down to a  9 1/2 yr old girl and a sibling group of 2 girls, age 11 and 7.  Then our time was up and the SDA said we could go and think about which situation we wanted to pursue and call back in 30 minutes.  After considering all the facts about each situation, we both knew that we would pursue the 2 girls.

We will leave tomorrow evening on an overnight train to southwest Ukraine, almost to Romania.  We will arrive around 9:30 am with our facilitator, Svetlana.  We are so glad to be working with her again.  Please be praying that these girls will be recepetive to these 2 unfamiliar people coming to meet them and that they will be able to bond with us.

It may be a few days before I blog again as we are not sure of the Internet connection in the region.

HAPPY THANKSGIVNG to all our family.  We will be thinking of you tomorrow.

What?

We found out today that the SDA is waiting for paperwork from the region we were in for our first referral.  Seems as though the director of the orphange was out and did not delegate the sign-off authority to anyone there for the paperwork.  Thought we would hear something after 3:30 today about our 2nd appt. but we are still waiting.  The other two couples we met have already had their 2nd appt. and are on their way.  We just have to remember that it is all about God's timing and His plans are not always ours but if that is the case then His plans are better than ours. 

It has been raining all day so no sight-seeing which means no pictures.

No News

Our facilitator called today and did not have a date for our 2nd appt. yet.  Hope to hear something Tuesday morning.  It has been a little chilly here today so we were not out very long.  I have posted a few pictures.  The building with the pillars is a school.  I want to leave you with this poem.

God didn't promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain,
but He did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears, and
light for the way.

Rainy Sunday

Not alot to tell today.  It is been a misty/rainy day.  We moved again to our third apartment and I have attached pictures of #2 and #3 apartments. 

It is days like this that Gary and I miss the kiddos at home even more.  To my big kiddo, I love you so much and miss your big bear hugs.  I thought I would never say this but I even miss your drumming on everything.

We should hear from our facilitator tomorrow about our 2nd appt.  Keep praying for all the families who are over here right now.

Apt. #2

Apt. #3

Waiting is hard

Not alot going on today.  We walked around and took more pictures.  We went to the underground mall and window shopped.  That was alot of fun.  We are so glad to get emails of encouragement from home.  Thanks for all the prayers.  Today's encouraging word from KLove was -

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

Just what we needed.

Waiting in Kiev

We haven't got a date yet for our 2nd appt. at the SDA but it will be early next week according to our facilitator.  It rained here this morning and so we stayed in.  We went out in the afternoon and I have posted pictures of that adventure.  We got to meet another American couple, Phillip and Erin, tonight and it was wonderful to just talk about our experiences.  They were able to show us some places to eat and tell us where we could go to buy this or that.  We had such a great time with them.  Please be praying for them as their 2nd appt. will also be next week. 

About the pictures, there is one here for my co-workers.  Just wanted you to see that Mo the mule is in Ukraine also, well maybe not Mo but you get the idea.  There is also a picture of a bride and groom and just had to get a shot of her gorgeous dress. The last picture we were just window shopping and I saw this cool Victorian display with the cherubs.  Enjoy!

Down day

We got to sleep in this morning. We are in a new apt. and will be moving to a different one on Sunday. We met Svetlana, our facilitator, in the afternoon and went to the notary to get the paperwork done to request our second SDA appt. That went smoothly and then we got to ride the subway. We didn't ride it far but it was alot of fun. We should know tomorrow when our next SDA appt. is, sometime next week. I have attached a few more pictures and there is one of the looong escalator going down to the subway. Please be praying for our second appt. and that God would show us clearly the girl that will be our daughter.

 

Back in Kiev

First I want to say thank you for all the kinds words and encouragement. We would not being doing as well with out it. I apologize that I haven't responded back to everyone. We haven't had alot of internet time. Again, thank you as it really does mean so much!

We are back in Kiev. We left yesterday (Tues.) at 5:15 p.m. and arrived in Kryvyi Rih at 11:15 p.m. What a wonderful driver and facilitator we had. We were up and out at 8:30 a.m. this morning (Wed.) to meet the inspector of the region. She was very kind and asked us a few questions, like, state your name, age, any bio children and what our jobs are. We then waited for some paperwork and away we went to the orphange. We met with the director, who didn't smile much and we found out she does not like international adoptions from her orphanage. We met in her office and she started to explain about "A". The inspector then took the file and started in telling us about "A" through our translator. Then in a little bit a nurse came in to explain "A's" diagnosis. The nurse did not have alot of detail and we could come back at 3:00 to talk with the doctor. So then, in came "A" with her teacher. She had a big smile on her face and was missing her top front teeth. She was adorable. She said what her name was and asked us our names (through our translator of course.) Then her teacher asked her to count and she counted to 10 on her fingers and then the teacher said something to her and she continued to count to 20 using my fingers. Her teacher then asked her to resite a poem and it was about Autumn. She stood there so straight and belted out this poem and we all clapped for her when she was done. I gave her a stuffed animal that I had brought and then we went in to the play room. We kicked a soccer ball around for a while, shot the basketball, tried doing hoola hoop, and she was really good at bouncing on the big ball. I then got out a princess sticker book and she really liked that. Then the director came in and said it was time for "A" to go and we left. We came back at 3 p.m. to meet with the doctor. She told us about "A's" diagnosis in great detail and we asked a few questions. We then left and we both knew in our hearts that we would not be able to procede with "A". As sad as we were about this we know that God is the one in control and He will show us his plan. We are just thankful for the 15 minutes we got to spend with "A".

Here are some photos from our apartment in Kryvyi Rih and one of us by a statue at the inpector's office.



Going to meet girl

We are leaving soon to go and meet the 7 yr-old girl.  The situation looks a little better than what Konstantin expected.  We will know more when we get there.  We are traveling by car and will not get to meet her until tomorrow (Wed.).   

We have more pictures of our venture today.  There is one picture of a backhoe just for Gary.  For a moment he thought he was at home and then the traffic came rushing down the cobblestone streets.  There is also a picture of a Weeping Willow tree.  This is for my oldest little buddy at home who is always pointing them out to me.  There is an interesting picture of a sculpture of a cat on a tree, made out of forks.  Have fun looking at the pictures.

We are surviving for two people that have never traveled much but McD's and pizza is getting old. We have come to love the girls at McD's.  They see us coming and just smile and are very helpful.

Will update when we know more.

SDA appointment

We are somewhat frustrated but so glad God is in control. We were shown several files, most of the children had things that we were not comfortable with. We were there for 1 hour+ and it came down to, "you need to choose now your time is up." There was a 6-year-old girl we liked but ended up she had an older teenage brother and it would be too difficult and time consuming to separate, if it was even possible. We chose a 7 year-old girl but waiting to hear if that situation is possible. There was also a sibling set of 2 girls, age 10 and 11, that are available but we will not pursue them as we feel like we only want 1 child at this time. Gary and I always discussed that we would not bring home a child that we did not feel was right for us. As frustrating as it all is, we know what our hearts are telling us and so we are waiting to hear something tomorrow about the 7 year-old girl. If she is not available, then we will do the paperwork to get a second appointment with the SDA. Please pray that God's will be done and that He is glorified through all of this.   

Here are more photos of sightseeing.  The last one, where the red sign is, is the gate we walk through to get to our apartment.