Christmas Pictures

Here are some random pictures from Christmas.  Caleb was so excited and happy about all of his gifts.  Peyton seemed to like some of her gifts but was a little overwhelmed at the two family parties away from home.  She shuts down in large crowds and around people that she hasn't seen very often, especially men, so it was hard to get her to smile.  I'm also gonna have to work with her on how to accept a gift.  She just shows very little emotion and I think that she is thankful but just doesn't know how to express it.  Since she is so shy it is hard to get her to say thank you to the giver.  So many things to teach and learn.  I have come to realize I can't assume things with her.  All that aside, she is doing so well for someone that chose to leave everything she knew just 2 short months ago. 

Enjoy the pictures and I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. 

~Tina

  

Two Months Home

Peyton and Caleb have been home 2 months now.  They are better than we could have ever expected them to be.  They are so laid back and just go with the flow.  There is still much to teach them and sometimes I wonder why they were never taught to do this or that.  Then I stop and just pause to be thankful that we are the ones that get to teach them.

Sweet Peyton is really starting to talk alot more now.  Like a typical girl, there are some clothes that she doesn't like and won't wear and doesn't mind telling me, "Me no like."  I just assumed since she was once an orphan she would be thankful to have clothes to wear no matter if they appealed to her or not but alas, I am used to raising boys so what was I thinking. She seems to be doing well at school as far as I can tell by the worksheets that come home.  She is in the 5th grade so that she can socialize with kids her age but she is pulled out some during the day to work on learning the alphabet and letter sounds and to help her get caught up with math.  She is at about a 3rd grade level in math and at the beginning for everything else because of the need to learn English.  She is enjoying school and seems happy to go.  I took her for an eye exam and she will need glasses.  She is nearsighted and was seeing double out of one eye.  When the doctor put lenses up to her eyes the amazement on her face that things were not blurry anymore was so funny.  She is so excited to get glasses. Next up is the dentist but I haven't scheduled that appointment yet.  We are taking the doctor's visits slow with her because it is rather traumatic.  I have talked with her about the dentist, her teeth and that she will need her teeth worked on but she is not happy about that.  Every little test or procedure equals pain in her eyes and so I am going to have to do a little more talking with her before we go.  This girl has come a long way in 2 months and it is so fun to experience life with her.  And yes, everyone assumes she is my biological daughter and they can't believe it when I tell them she is from Ukraine. 

Little Caleb always has a smile on his face.  He understands most of what we say now but can't speak much English without prompting.  I have been working with him on writing the letters of his name and he does pretty well for never holding a pencil or being taught anything.  We are hoping in January to start him at the same preschool Carson is attending.  He still is so excited about having a cat and is doing better at holding and touching her nicely.  He seems to have an ear for music and someday I want to give him the opportunity to take piano lessons.  I took him to the eye doctor and he did so well.  He is a little farsighted and I will take him back for a follow-up visit in a couple of months to see how we need to procede.  He will also need to go to the dentist and I think I will take Peyton along so that she can see what to expect.  He is just the sweetest little boy and has not once looked back to where he came from.  He is happy and content with this life and there really has not been much adjustment needed with him.  For that I am so thankful. 

Here are some random pictures of the last week or so.  Enjoy.

~Tina

Yes, Carson does like his candy!



wrestling with big brother, Theron



Theron traveled by train to visit his girlfriend for Chrtistmas.
He opened his gifts early and the kids couldn't wait to watch.





We were at a family dinner and who should arrive but Santa. 
Carson, sitting on my lap, was just a little leary of him so
mom's lap was the best place to be.

That is Peyton behind the tree crying because one of the
two littles running away from her just threw a snowball
at her face.  Oh the joy of little brothers.

A few seconds later she was ready to take a picture.

Caleb giving the snowball a plane ride.

It was so fun watching them work on this together.

       

The Butterfly

I've never told about this part of our adoption before, so here it goes. 

When we saw Peyton's picture for the very first time it was on the Horner family's blog.  I followed their blog for the almost four months they were in Ukraine adopting their kids.  During this time, Alecia found comfort in God showing her His presence through butterflies. 

As we were pursuing the adoption of our kids, butterflies took on a special meaning for me as well.  There were many moments of discouragement and frustration, questioning why things were happening the way they were, and just really needing to see or feel God's nearness.  Everytime I needed to see, God brought a butterfly.  It might have been a painting on a wall; an embroidered butterfly in a frame at our hotel; Peyton's friends at the orphanage drawing butterflies; someone we came in contact with having a butterfly design on their clothes; the taxi driver having butterflies on the seat cover; to yes, even real butterflies on our many walks to the orphanage.  God is awesome like that and everytime the butterfly appeared I had such a peace in knowing that God was so near.  I felt like He was showing me everything was ok, no need to worry, just trust what was going on and His timing. 

Well, today when Peyton got home she was so excited about a little gift she had made at school.  She said it was for me and daddy.  Since I had just opened the gift Cash had made, I decided that we would wait until Gary got home so he could open Peyton's gift.  She was ok with that as she has become just a little smitten with her daddy.  Before I show you what her gift was let me just say that I have had some things going on in the last couple of weeks that I have been frustrated about and just a little discouraged.  But God has given me this verse:

Psalm 37:4-7 - Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord: trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your rightousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

And, once again, a butterfly, Peyton's gift.

Awesome God!




 

 










I have another short story I have to tell.  I listen to Christian radio and also some Christain cds and well, I have probably wore out my Mandisa cd as my kids know alot of the words to her songs.  There is one particular song that I sometimes skip over because the kiddos have their favorite song that they like to hear and it is not at the top of their list.  The name of the song is Free and free is repeated alot.  So one day as I was driving along and in my own little world the Free song was on and I hear this little voice in the back saying free everytime he hears it.  And I thought, yes you are sweet Caleb, you are free, an orphan no more.  I said that to him and he just grinned.  The other little ones wanted to know what I meant and I explained to them that Caleb now has a family and he is free to be all that God intended for him to be.  They were so excited and now when this song comes on they say, Caleb, you are free.

Oh, and one more thing.  My sweet Carson (ok, sometimes he is just so onery) singing for you.  I know it is not a Christmas song but it too cute not to share and yes I started laughing and I think you will too.

~Tina    

What's New?

We have a new kitten, Ms. Kitty.  The kids just love her except Caleb doesn't quite know how to play nicely with her yet.  He gets so excited and pulls her tail or squeezes her fluffy coat.  Cash said, Mom why does he do that?  Why can't he just touch her nicely?  I explained to him that Caleb has probably never seen a kitty in real life and he is just so excited to finally be able to touch one.  We saw plenty of dogs at the orphanage that were not treated nicely by the older boys but never saw any cats.  He just doesn't know how he is supposed to treat her so we have to teach him.

We finally got the kids in for a well check at Children's Mercy.  We wanted to go there because they had someone who could translate for us.  We knew the kids would need at least some shots and so we thought it would go better if someone were there to tell them what was about to happen.  Well, I can't say as it mattered much, pain is pain in any language.  Peyton was glad to have someone to talk to but thought that we had brought them there to leave them.  What?  Absolutely not!  Not in a million years precious girl!  It really was chaos in that small room.  Imagine, Gary and I, Peyton, Caleb, the translator and 2 nurses in a 10 x 10 room with medical equipment in it.  Not alot of room to move around.  One nurse was asking me questions about the kids while I had been given 3 pages each to fill out and I was trying to console Peyton while the translator was telling me what she was saying and the first nurse was still trying to get me to answer questions and I was trying to make sure Caleb wasn't touching all the buttons.  Just chaos.  We did find out that Peyton is definitely going to need her eyes checked as she could not see anywhere near 20/20.  I was shocked at how big the letters were before she could tell what they were.  Caleb is going to need an x-ray of his back.  He has a bump next to his spine down on his lower back.  He also has some breathing issues, allergies and slight asthma or chronic bronchitis as they called it in Ukraine.  So we have some medicine for that.  Caleb was so funny while they were getting ready to give him a shot. He sat there and said, (as translated) I am a big boy and I am not going to cry.  He didn't cry much but Peyton on the other hand didn't do so well.  She was very emotional and was crying before she even saw the needle.  I am not sure how much it helped that the translator was wiping her tears with a tissue trying to get her to look the other way and shushing her.  We were just so glad when it was all over. 

On Sunday afternoon Gary was getting ready to leave the house and go feed hay to our cows.  Carson usually always goes with him as he is quite the farm boy.  This time Peyton was just standing there watching Carson leave with daddy when I noticed a look on her face.  I said Peyton what's wrong?  She said, I want to go with daddy.  I said, of course you can and away she went to get her shoes.  She was so so excited to ride in the tractor.

   










And tonight we decorated the Christmas tree.  The kids were so excited to see all the ornaments that we had to hang on the tree and to hear stories about some of them.  As I watched them hang the ornaments one on top of the other at times I just let them do it.  Normally that would have really bothered me but you know, in the whole scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.  It was worth it to see how happy they were.  And when we were done and the angel was on top of the tree and the lights were turned on, the amazement on their faces was what I will always remember.  But what I liked most of all, Peyton actually called me mom tonight for the first time and I am sure the look on my face was priceless.  

~Tina

Defend the Orphans

How do you explain to others what being in an orphanage is like?  How a piece of my heart and soul was left in Ukraine with those children who have no idea what the outside world is like.  How, when they age out of the orphanage, the world is not going to be kind to them and they are so not prepared.  How through my earthly eyes I see no way that I can go back yet my heart longs to be there, to bring one more home, sweet Anya.

Others tell me what a great thing we've done and how Peyton and Caleb are two lucky children.  I have a hard time answering when someone says this to me because we think we are the lucky ones.  I then procede to tell them about the other orphans who were left behind and how I wish I could... I usually get cut off by them saying but you saved these two isn't that enough.  You've done your part.  And so then it turns to small talk and the conversation is over.  Again,  how do you explain to others what it is like looking in the eyes of an orphan?

Then it dawns on me, Tina, they don't get it because God did not call them to adopt an orphan, He called you.  But the Bible does talk about the orphan and what we are to do.

• James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...
• Isaiah 1:17 - ...learn to do right!  Seek justice, encourage the oppressed.  Defend the cause of the fatherless... 
• Psalms 68:5-6 -  A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families... 
• Psalms 82:3 - Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

We are to look after the orphans and defend them.   How can we do that by looking the other way or dismissing someone when they are trying to tell you how heartbreaking it is?  I know that there are those that read my blog that would adopt but they think:

1. It costs so much.
2. What will my family and friends think?
3. What if we have problems with the child/children once we get home?

and so many more reasons.  But you know what, we serve an awesome God who has gone before us and He will be there for you every step of the way.  It will not be easy but the struggle is what helps you to reach out to God and His faithfulness.  And seeing these children brought in to a family is such a blessing.

There are also those that read my blog that could support these adoptive families.  Come along side them and be an encourager because this process is so hard and the last thing they need is a naysayer.  Pray with them and tell them they can do it.  Offer to help while they are travelling, whether it be with their children at home or house sitting or preparing meals when they return.  And yes these families need help financially during the adoption process because I don't know too many people that have $20,000 + laying around. So please pray about what you can do to help the families that are stepping out for the least of these.   

I have put some of these pictures up before but here they are again.  Look at these sweet, sweet faces that I want to shout for because their reality is going to change at age 17 and they will never be the same.  Please say a prayer for them.  I don't really know if they are available for adoption but we may be able to find out.  If you think that one of these children could be yours I am here to help you.  Because I know, they are worth it all. 

~Tina

   

 

 

 





 

   

One Month Home

Peyton and Caleb have been home one month.  Sometimes it seems longer and other times it is all still so new. 

Sweet Caleb is attaching so well and is just a smiley boy.  I have yet to figure out his logic behind getting in trouble and initally crying until I say his name to get him to look at me and then he puts on a big smile with no tears.  Mama doesn't cave to that smile but I can't get him to say da (yes) or nyet (no) when I ask him if he understands why he was in trouble.  Even after showing him right and wrong he still will not respond.  He just stands there so straight looking at me with that smile.  He must think I am so funny because believe me if you could see the charades I do to get him to understand I guess you would be laughing to.  Gary says I do a great job at charades because he can't think of things to do to get Caleb to understand.  I even catch myself laughing at some of the things I do and, well, I guess when I start laughing it's all over because then all the kids join in with the laughter.  Joking aside, Caleb is really doing great and is starting to understand English words when I tell him to do things, like put this in your bedroom, it's time to eat, let's brush your teeth etc. He is very neat and tidy and every morning he takes very good care to make his bed and put his dirty clothes in the hamper.  Something his siblings could take a few lessons from.  He loves music and whenever he hears any music the hips start to swinging.  I still am amazed at how well he is doing and that he doesn't seem to miss his life in Ukraine.  He never mentions any of the nannies or his friends there.  It is as if he has always been here.  He just fits so well for never knowing what being in a family was like.  I praise God for this smooth transition.

Beautiful Peyton is still distant but she seems happy and content.  I know the road is going to be longer for her.  I just can't wait until she lets us in more.  Because we have no record of what happened in her life before she came to the boarding school at 9 years old, adjusting is just going to be harder.  Some day when she can speak English I hope she can open up and tell me about that life.  I am really interested to know about her Ukrainian family and what her life was like.  We have not really had many issues with her.  There has been a couple of teaching moments where the choice she made was not acceptable but the choice is too be expected.  The orphan mentality of taking without asking and begging is how they survived.  I know that our home grown children have done the same things but they were younger and had to be taught.  Peyton is 11 and you would think she would already know these things but the reality is she doesn't and so we have to start at the beginning.  She is very neat and tidy like Caleb and her bed is made perfectly every morning. She still will not get out of bed unless Gary or I tell her that she can no matter how many times I have told her she doesn't have to wait for us to tell her.  She rides the bus to school with brother Cash everyday and is all smiles and waves through the window as the bus pulls away.  She says school is good now when I ask her and is eager to show me her school papers each night. She now feels safe enough to take her shower without me being in the bathroom with her but still needs the security of me laying with her each night to fall asleep.  Gary and I are both looking forward to the day that she calls us mom and dad and reciprocates the hugs we give her.  But for now seeing that sweet, shy smile when she catches us looking at her will do.  I know she is happy here and someday when the English comes we will have alot of catching up to do.

~Tina

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

    

Stirring

First an update on the kids.  Caleb is doing well and getting used to being at daycare.  He now comes running and hugs me tight when I get there to pick him up.  He is just such a lovey little guy and loves to kiss my cheek or sit on my lap and rub my hair.  He and Carson are still trying to get the pecking order figured out and Gary and I have decided we are done being referee to a degree.  Carson weighs quite a bit more so we do have to step in sometimes.  Peyton is still so quiet and shy but we did have a little break through with her last night.  Gary was sitting in his chair getting ready to read a book and I told Peyton, daddy is going to read a book if you want to listen.  Cash was watching televison and half listening.  Carson and Caleb got on Gary's lap and Peyton stood by his chair.  Before he was done reading the book she was actually sitting on the arm of the chair and leaning in.  Baby steps.  After dinner the kids were just doing their own things before bathtime and Peyton had her tablet out drawing.  I sat down with her and asked her what her teacher's name was.  She thought for a moment and shook her head no.  I guess she thought I wanted her to spell it.  I said Ms. Hendrix and she smiled and I wrote this down on her tablet.  We then proceded to name some of her classmates and wrote those names down.  I decided this was a great opportunity to talk about her classmates from the orphanage.  She started saying all their names.  I told her to write their names and she shook her head no and I knew that she thought I meant in English.  I then told her to write the names in Ukrainian and she got the biggest smile and she just was so happy to write their names.  I could tell by the look on her face that she was having fond memories of them as she wrote each name.  We talked about who had a sibling and what the siblings names were.  I then decided to talk to her about her Ukrainian family and their names, sister, Olya, brother Sasha, brother Artem, mother, Lina, and when I said babuska (grandmother), she said no babushka, no dadushka (grandfather) and no papa. She was excited that we were talking about her Ukrainian family and friends.  Again, baby steps to get her to open up to me.

Now about that stirring.  The Bible says in Luke 15:4-6 -

^4 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ "

Well I have a stirring in my heart that I just can't shake, a lost sheep.  Please say a prayer for us that God will show us clearly what we need to do. 

~Tina

God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity we plan only the things that we can do by ourselves. A.W. Tozer

Halloween 2012

We didn't do much for Halloween this year.  As we had already had a carving pumpkins party a few days before and a get together with family, we decided to just trick-or-treat at grandma and grandpa's house.  The kids were excited to put on their costumes and of course grandma always spoils them.  Here is a picture before we left, Carson is Batman, Caleb is Bozo the Clown, Cash is Spiderman and Peyton is a princess.  They are so funny and fun.

 

 

As I was leaving work last night I decided to stop and get pizza so we could eat quickly and get to Grandma's house.  My two American kids always like to ask Peyton what the Ukrainian word is for this or that.  So as we were eating pizza Cash asked her what the Ukrainian word was for pizza.  Peyton replied, Ukrainian pizza is English pizza in her beautiful Ukrainian voice.  We were amazed because this was her first sentence in English that she actually said without any prompting.  Normally she just says da or nyet or shakes her head for anything I ask and has not tried to talk in English unless I tell her what something is and have her repeat it. 

 

Peyton started school on Monday of this week and we are hoping to get together soon with the team that will decide what direction we need to go with her.  She is supposed to be tested some time to see where she is at in Math.  Right now she is just getting aquainted with school, her teacher and her classmates.  I can not begin to imagine how hard it is to sit in class and only know bits and pieces of what the teacher is saying.  She always has a smile on her face when we pick her up from school and when I ask her if she likes school she shakes her head no. 

 

Caleb is adjusting to daycare.  After the first couple of days he figured out where we were going and now he starts to cry when I leave him.  He is fine though  once I leave and seems to have a good time. Today he road on the merry-go-round at daycare and he got off and threw-up.  But that didn't deter him from getting on it again later in the day and same thing happening.  Funny boy!

 

Overall everything is going better than we could have expected and all the kids are getting along fairly well.  Peyton will actually go outside now and play soccer or football or swing with the boys.  It would be nice though if she had a sister to do girly things with.  Just sayin.

 

~Tina

 

    

 

 

 

      

Lost

Someone told me today that our kids look lost and was it really a good thing to take them from what they knew?  Before anyone comes back with a negative comment please hear me out because this comment came from a good person wishing us nothing but the best for our kids.  It just got me to thinking because I have to daily remind myself that I only know part of what they have been through and those who have never been there just don't know. 

Yes our kids are lost.  All they knew was -  time to get up but don't you dare get out of bed until we (the orphanage staff) say you can;  get dressed in the clothes that you have worn for the last week; walk in a single file with your group to eat the little bit of food we put in front of you (and no you can not have more so don't ask);  if it is a school day then time to go to class where we (the orphanage staff) will only teach you minimally because you are just not capable of learning; after morning classes then lunch will be served and again you only have what is in front of you to eat; if it happens to be Wednesday then it is your lucky day because you get to take your shower for the week; after this it is back to class until about 6:00 pm; then there is free time which you can spend sitting and watching a movie, playing outside with sticks and rocks or swinging on the swings that I know are so old that they are only being held together by the layers of paint over the rust.  You can also pick apples to eat from the orchard or get nuts out of the trees and crack them with your teeth or stomp them with your heel.  At the end of the day, it has been a good day if one or more of the other kids has not hit you, bit you, put their cigarette out on you or taken you to the ground for a little wrestling match.  Oh and how could I forget, if you need to use the toliet, it is outside, a concrete building with no doors on it and if you can stand the smell when you walk inside then there cut out in the floor is 3 holes, also known as a squat pot, where you can do your business. (We did see toilets that were very neat and clean, as far as orphanages go, inside a couple of the buildings but never saw any of the children go in them.) And, if my children would have stayed at the orphanage and aged out at 16 or 17, they would have been shown the door and sent in to the den of lions.  You see, 60% of orphan girls turn to prostitution, 70% of orphan boys turn to a life of crime and 10-15% will commit suicide before age 18. 

Are my kids lost?  Yes they are but I hope by the grace of God that we found them in time.  Yes, they don't know much English and they don't know about the little things in everyday life that we take for granted.  But Gary and I have been given a precious gift that each day we are unwrapping another layer of.  Some days the paper is pretty and glittery and other days it is plain brown paper.  Either way it is another step forward for our kids to be what God intended for them to be. 

~Tina



first day of school for Peyton and daycare for Caleb

the kids and their pumpkins

                   

Update On The Kids

The kids are doing great, just so much to learn. 

Peyton seems to understand most of what I say to her and Google translate is a big help.  She is so shy and only warms up to people after she meets them a few times.  By warms up I mean that she will actually look at them and smile.  She is not a hugger and although she doesn't mind if I hug her, she will not initiate a hug.  She is still leery of Gary and since almost all of the teachers or workers at the orphanage were women I can understand why.  I can't wait to see her open up to him someday.   She has yet to call me mama or seek me out while we are at home if she wants something except for when it is time for bed she wants me to lay with her until she goes to sleep.  We are working on her picking out her clothes each day.  She is learning that she doesn't have to wear the same clothes every day for a week.  She is still amazed and so happy to be able to take a shower every night.  We spend our days working on ABC's, coloring, watching Barbie and playing outside.  On Monday she will be starting to school.  I will have more information about this in another post.

Caleb understands some of what I tell him to do but mostly I have to show him what I want.  If Peyton hears me say something to him and sees that he doesn't understand she will usually tell him what I said in Ukrainian.  He will come and find me in the house, say mama and wave his hand at me as to follow him so he can show me what he wants. He is such a smiley boy and will usually say hi to people that we know if they say something to him and we ask him to respond to them.  He has no interest in sitting and watching television or having a book read to him.  He likes to play with any of the toys that have music involved with them.  He loves "musica."  I will have to get a video of him dancing.  He just swings his hips back and forth and it is so cute.  This boy loves to eat.  Although I have tried to keep a bland diet for them right now there is not much he won't eat.  He is getting better at not being scared of taking a bath but doesn't like going to bed.  He will go but with a few tears and really it doesn't take him very long to go to sleep.  He will be starting daycare on Monday with brother Carson. We went today and checked it out and I think he will do just fine there.

Overall they are adjusting well and we are so thankful that God is allowing us the privilege of being their parents. 

~Tina