Yes our kids are lost. All they knew was - time to get up but don't you dare get out of bed until we (the orphanage staff) say you can; get dressed in the clothes that you have worn for the last week; walk in a single file with your group to eat the little bit of food we put in front of you (and no you can not have more so don't ask); if it is a school day then time to go to class where we (the orphanage staff) will only teach you minimally because you are just not capable of learning; after morning classes then lunch will be served and again you only have what is in front of you to eat; if it happens to be Wednesday then it is your lucky day because you get to take your shower for the week; after this it is back to class until about 6:00 pm; then there is free time which you can spend sitting and watching a movie, playing outside with sticks and rocks or swinging on the swings that I know are so old that they are only being held together by the layers of paint over the rust. You can also pick apples to eat from the orchard or get nuts out of the trees and crack them with your teeth or stomp them with your heel. At the end of the day, it has been a good day if one or more of the other kids has not hit you, bit you, put their cigarette out on you or taken you to the ground for a little wrestling match. Oh and how could I forget, if you need to use the toliet, it is outside, a concrete building with no doors on it and if you can stand the smell when you walk inside then there cut out in the floor is 3 holes, also known as a squat pot, where you can do your business. (We did see toilets that were very neat and clean, as far as orphanages go, inside a couple of the buildings but never saw any of the children go in them.) And, if my children would have stayed at the orphanage and aged out at 16 or 17, they would have been shown the door and sent in to the den of lions. You see, 60% of orphan girls turn to prostitution, 70% of orphan boys turn to a life of crime and 10-15% will commit suicide before age 18.
Are my kids lost? Yes they are but I hope by the grace of God that we found them in time. Yes, they don't know much English and they don't know about the little things in everyday life that we take for granted. But Gary and I have been given a precious gift that each day we are unwrapping another layer of. Some days the paper is pretty and glittery and other days it is plain brown paper. Either way it is another step forward for our kids to be what God intended for them to be.
~Tina
 |
| first day of school for Peyton and daycare for Caleb |
 |
| the kids and their pumpkins |
I'm so glad you posted this. After three and a half years, I almost posted on this same topic myself. I sometimes still wonder how much of a good thing I've tried to do. My son still has an accent and probably always will - this makes him stand out among his peers and he doesn't like it. His childhood experiences will always be different from his age mates - he'll never have a baby photograph. He still has what I call, for lack of a better term, flashbacks. Yesterday, I asked him if he wanted a pair of long underwear I showed him in a store. He thought they were tights like they have all the kids wear in the orphanage. Since we don't have those thing around our house, he first came up with the Ukrainian word for them. He just never speaks Ukrainian. Anyway, I've decided there are pros and cons, but I think he is better off here than there.
ReplyDeleteI noticed in the first three months with Alina that she was grieving leaving all she had known behind. And while I knew (know) she was in a better place, she still missed what was her only home. Two years later, that is gone. She is comfortable and happy and speaks very little of the "groupa."
ReplyDeleteWhile there were times that being her dad felt contrived, I never wavered in my belief that she was better off. And it has paid off.
Do your kids look lost? Your darn skippy, I am sure they do, and are. But they will find their comfort and time really does heal all wounds.
Stay the course, and you are right, God's grace is all you need. Blessings, kelly